Goal Posts

15/03/11

I have always said that I will NOT be a fat bride. DF loves me regardless of what I look like but for myself I just know that I will be so disappointed to walk down that aisle in a dress that I had to choose because of my size rather than what my heart truly desires. I don’t want to look back on my wedding photos in disgust at myself or hide the photos because I am embarrassed of the way I look. I want to look back on those photos and have nothing but the best memories of the day that I married my best friend. When I walk down that aisle I want DF’s breath to be taken away. I want to see a tear in my dad’s eye. I want to be proud of what I have accomplished. Despite encouragement from my DF’s family, I have not seriously been wedding dress shopping in fact I have only been to the 2 local dress shops once. There was one dress that I liked but I don’t want to settle. I want to make sure that it is what I love! To be honest my heart just wasn’t in it. When I looked in the mirror with that dress on did I like what I saw? No not really. Yes the dress was pretty & it was flattering to my figure. But that was kinda the problem... it flattered my fat figure. I don’t want to be fat for my wedding!

So I set myself a little mini goal of 75kgs. When I get to 75 I am going to reward myself by going wedding dress shopping with my Mum, Sister & Nan. I made that mini goal when I was 85.5kgs. It seemed so far away! But then I had 3 great losses in a row & all of a sudden it seemed really close. If I could lose 5.5kgs that fast I would be dress shopping by April, May at the absolute latest! So now I have had 2 minute losses that I am surprised even registered on the scales! All of a sudden it seems so far away again. I feel like my reward has been snatched away from in front of my eyes.

So what do I do? Do I continue on my path to 75? The number that I have had locked in my head since I began on this journey. Or do I shift the goal posts? My 10% is 77 that’s a realistic goal as well! And it is SO much closer! But then I have the dilemma if I move the goal posts is that cheating? And if it is who am I cheating? Just myself really... I think I just answered my own question. lol